E: Da Rules

  • The teleportation can only be used to move you.

  • Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.

  • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1531·
    11 天前

    The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened (“I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I’ve no clue how it happened”).

    I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There’s also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
      804·
      11 天前

      This has the possible downside of you being dissected for the benefit of science. One human life for the possibility of discovering the ability to teleport? The astronauts/cosmonauts on the ISS would know about you, but you’d never make the news.

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        55·
        11 天前

        Scientists are not good at keeping secrets, particularly not of this level. Also, the ISS is remarkably public. It would be obvious they were hiding something, at the very least.

        Would I expect to spend some time “volunteering” in a research lab, more than likely. I doubt it would get to dissection level. The risk/cost would be low enough that I would take it.

        • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          10 天前

          Yeah many of the transmissions to the space station are public. This would go viral before anyone “higher up” could have a chance to squash it.

          • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
            3·
            10 天前

            That’s also before accounting for the various ground scientists who would rapidly become aware through the private channels. Someone appearing on the ISS would leak beyond containment before anyone could think to cut phone communications, let alone implement it.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
        16·
        10 天前

        “Hey some guy just showed up here and no one knows about it.”

        “Cool, lets put him out the airlock and see if he freezes like in that movie”

      • Ziglin@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        9 天前

        Not too bad of a downside. I’d have myself dissected if it meant people I cared about would have a chance at figuring out teleportation.

    • brrt@sh.itjust.works
      151·
      10 天前

      with little to no harm

      Not sure how resource allocation works and how quickly you could be sent back to earth but someone may have to be sacrificed.

      • mipadaitu@lemmy.worldEnglish
        6·
        9 天前

        There’s always an excess of resources, just in case of spacecraft failure.

        There are actually already extra crew up there from the recent Boeing failure.

        SpaceX would definitely benefit from having to come get you, since they’re the only launch company with a good track record, and spare capacity. (Unless you’re Russian, which means you’d probably be shot and stuffed in the garbage section of Soyuz)

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        10 天前

        Compared to telefragging someone on live tv? Also, on the balance, the media coverage would likely help knock loose some more funding for NASA, if only to try and figure out what the f*** happened.

      • lud@lemm.ee
        1·
        10 天前

        There are always escape capsules onboard so they could probably just set them down to earth if that happens.

        I would be more worried about something that is entirely untrained being up there for extended periods of time.

  • WarlockLawyer@lemmy.world
    63·
    11 天前

    Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I’m going to materialize naked live in air screaming “the end is nigh unless we repent” and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.

      • seaQueue@lemmy.world
        22·
        11 天前

        “The rapture started and I was sent back here, God really wants us to stop using fossil fuels”

        • BatrickPateman@lemmy.world
          9·
          10 天前

          Planet saved for now but at the cost of giving rise to believes of christian fundamentalists.

          I’d rather have the planet slowly cooked still, tyvm.

    • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      4·
      10 天前

      I’d do the opposite. Crash the biggest event I can find with ample media coverage, grab a mic, explain that I’m projecting myself backward through time from 200 years from now, and that I don’t have much time, and now is when it all goes wrong. To save everyone we need to

      [Teleport to my living room]

      I’m kidding, of course. I’d probably just waste it on something dumb(er).

    • brrt@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      10 天前

      I can already hear “The mainstream media is playing tricks on us to keep us from enjoying ourselves by [insert any dumb shit like rolling coal or something]“

      • ApatheticCactus@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        10 天前

        Odd train of thought: what would the rolling coal equivalent be for an EV? Just wasting fuel for something that looks cool… So high voltage discharge under the car shooting lightning bolts? That actually sounds kinda cool, now that I think about it, but it is wasteful.

  • ValiantDust@feddit.org
    50·
    11 天前

    Into the studio of some live tv programme, so it’s caught on camera by a neutral party. Without teleportation to get back, there are no really cool or useful places I want to go to in the next 24 hours. So I might as well try to make some cash out of interviews and stuff.

  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
    46·
    10 天前

    Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

    I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.

    • perestroika@lemm.ee
      9·
      10 天前

      Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

      I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D

      If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you’d be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.

      As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).

  • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
    38·
    11 天前

    I’d assume a cannonball shape and teleport myself into the body of any living murderous dictator (you can pick). I assume the sudden materialization of a 6’ tall, 200 lb human inside another human’s viscera would be a bit like swallowing a bomb. Even if it’s more a case of chimeric horror, the result is the same so I’m OK with it.

    • Grimy@lemmy.world
      10·
      11 天前

      Aiming for a theocratic regime would let you swing into “I am your God now” territory.

  • Toes♀@ani.socialEnglish
    34·
    11 天前

    I’d teleport to a parallel universe that has become an utopia full of futuristic medical solutions.

  • djsoren19@yiffit.net
    26·
    10 天前

    What’s the nearest planet with an Earth-like atmosphere? Any particular star clusters that have a higher likelihood of harboring a civilization? If I can go anywhere, I’m taking a gamble and trying to find aliens. Even if I fail to find intelligent life, I’m already at a point where struggling to survive on an alien planet sounds better.

  • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
    26·
    11 天前

    If there’s no return option then I probably wouldn’t use it. Maybe just to get to the shops or something and then walk back.

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
    23·
    11 天前

    My mom lives three large states away and has Alzheimer’s but is still able to recognize people. She’s well cared for, but I’m sole caregiver for my bedbound family member. I’m reconciled to the fact I cannot travel to visit her, but if I could go for just half an hour, even just one hug, I would.

    Edit: Oh, one way only? Nvm.