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cm0002@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago

Alabama baby born at Krispy Kreme awarded year’s supply of free doughnuts

www.theguardian.com

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Alabama baby born at Krispy Kreme awarded year’s supply of free doughnuts

www.theguardian.com

cm0002@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago
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Sha’Nya Bennett, 23, gave birth to son Dallas in parking lot of doughnut chain during historic snowstorm
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  • jet@hackertalks.com
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    3 months ago

    How many donuts could a baby eat in one year? Not that many. Five?

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      They can’t know whether the baby actually eats them. The baby could be buying them for their parents, after all.

  • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    Hurray for childhood obesity!

    • wabafee@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • reversedposterior@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Since nobody seems to have read the article:

    Following the unusual birth, Krispy Kreme has offered Dallas, and, more pertinently, his family free doughnuts for a year and will throw Dallas a birthday party every year until he’s an adult.

    • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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      3 months ago

      Das gonna be a fat baby

  • ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Put those donuts in a blender, pop the results in a bottle, and the baby will have a full belly. And probably diabetes by the age of 1. But I get the feeling that’s not too uncommon in Alabama.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
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      3 months ago

      My good grandma yelled at my mother for putting Coca-Cola in a sippy cup for me.

      This is a common quaint anecdote for most people raised in Alabama.

      • bizarroland@fedia.io
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        3 months ago

        And before you ask, yes, I do have an evil grandmother. Fortunately, she’s dead.

  • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    Just a year?

    Fucking cheapskate!

  • eran_morad@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • weew@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Babeetus

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Diet Beetus

  • booly@sh.itjust.works
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    …starting in a future year, right?

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      It’s 2025. Every year is a future year these days

  • paraphrand@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    What does the FDA consider a year supply when it comes to doughnuts? Or similar group.

    I’m thinking if we wanted to be scientific and we’re stocking up a bunker, and wanted to make sure our doughnut supply was appropriate for Alabama standards.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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      When it comes to these things of free X for a year/life, it’s like 1 free thing, per month. So more than likely, this is 1 dozen doughnuts for free; but you can’t get the whole dozen all at once. You get 1 doughnut per month for 12 months.

      • RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        3 months ago

        I would expect this to be a donut a day, or equivalent.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      2000 calories worth of donuts x 365

  • katy ✨@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    Hasn’t the baby suffered enough?

  • TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    It’s still the healthiest child in Alabama

  • edric@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Starting them young.

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    But…for the next year that number of consumed donuts should be 0.

    Wow. I remember when I was a kid, and the NES came out, and I was amazed. Then the SNES came out, and everything improved. Then the N64 came out and my jaw hit the floor.

    I said “Wow! Can you IMAGINE what life will be like when I’m old???”

    Well. Old me checking in. The future is dumb. I hate it. Please take me back to the late 80s right now.

    • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      If you want it to feel like early Nintendo again, the place to look is VR now. Over the last 10 years, it has been an exciting growth pace to watch. And co-incidentally, some of my favorite stuff to do in VR is play Nintendo games in 3D.

  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    You okay, Gulf Coast?

  • esc27@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    KK about to be glazed

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