Society, community… these are abstract terms. You cannot talk to them. The cannot love you.
Life happens when you meet people (not abstractions).
So, when you write:
Preferably in real life and without religion or alcohol.
Don’t see anything personal in the following remark (I don’t smoke and don’t drink, I quit both many decades ago, and I don’t give a flying fuck about religion myself) but you can’t expect to meet people that fit your expectations.
Life does not work like a dating app (luckily).
You will meet people, a few of them you will appreciate more than many, many others. All of them, even the ‘nicest’ ones, will still annoy you one way or another. Like you will annoy them, or like I do. We all.
My spouse and I have been together for 25 years and counting, we’re glad to be together but I can assure you we also both have traits or habits the other don’t like at all, and that’s fine. My best friend and I have been friends for well over 40 years and we’re at the complete opposite politically speaking, we always have been. Like we never agreed and we never will. We’re fine with our lifelong disagreements because we have many other common interests (and he is a very interesting guy even if his politics are shit ;)
So, the first thing I would suggest would be to accept that people will not be what you want them to be, or how you want them to be.
And then to let things happen, or not happen. That’s my second advice: be ok with nothing happening or with failing when trying to make them happen. Most of the time meeting people won’t go anywhere and that’s to be expected. Don’t give up, keep on meeting people and spend some time with them.
I know those advice may sound a bit… generalist but you did not share a lot of context yourself to give you a more specific answer either. And, generalist or not, those are still two advice I follow myself.
Like u/NeoNachtwaechter rightfully said:
So, when you write:
Don’t see anything personal in the following remark (I don’t smoke and don’t drink, I quit both many decades ago, and I don’t give a flying fuck about religion myself) but you can’t expect to meet people that fit your expectations.
Life does not work like a dating app (luckily).
You will meet people, a few of them you will appreciate more than many, many others. All of them, even the ‘nicest’ ones, will still annoy you one way or another. Like you will annoy them, or like I do. We all.
My spouse and I have been together for 25 years and counting, we’re glad to be together but I can assure you we also both have traits or habits the other don’t like at all, and that’s fine. My best friend and I have been friends for well over 40 years and we’re at the complete opposite politically speaking, we always have been. Like we never agreed and we never will. We’re fine with our lifelong disagreements because we have many other common interests (and he is a very interesting guy even if his politics are shit ;)
So, the first thing I would suggest would be to accept that people will not be what you want them to be, or how you want them to be.
And then to let things happen, or not happen. That’s my second advice: be ok with nothing happening or with failing when trying to make them happen. Most of the time meeting people won’t go anywhere and that’s to be expected. Don’t give up, keep on meeting people and spend some time with them.
I know those advice may sound a bit… generalist but you did not share a lot of context yourself to give you a more specific answer either. And, generalist or not, those are still two advice I follow myself.