Our house has a partial park view. It’s nice. And, in about 3 years we’ll have a full park view because the pipeline running through the city is undermining the foundation of every house in the neighborhood and we’re all slowly sliding into the park.

But you’re going to be fine…

Sam’s Club still accepted.

Basilisk. A memetic kill-code embeded in an image that shuts off the brain.

Disney writer #1: Let’s make a Tower of Babel parable, but set it space!

Disney writer #2: Are we going to end the movie with the antagonist being sent to actual-factual Hell?

Disney writer #1: You fucking know it!

Velvet.

Anti-cop weapon.

Yo-yos.

Following Tumblr’s lead, I see…

The Muppet Show.

The perfect show for a creative, empathic, and deeply weird kid like me.

If you look up “failing up” in the dictionary, there is a picture of Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd staring back at you with his dead, dead eyes.

High pitch Crash Worship? Now they sound like some of their opening acts.

On March 4th, 2033 at 6:32am local time I will trip and fall walking downstairs. Where I will smack my head on the newel post at the bottom, breaking my neck and causing a severe skull fracture. I will lie semi-conscious on the floor for the next 16 minutes and 27 seconds before expiring at 6:50am local time.

I don’t know what happens after that.

"Transparency can’t be passive—it must be built, maintained, and seen. That’s what this livestream is all about.”

Literally.

Lawsuit.

Now make gnocchi.

TEDtiks?

The Phantom Zone in all other Superman media: Turn on a machine and open a portal.

The Phantom Zone in Superman 2: “WE BANISH YOU TO THE LP DIMENSION!”

Ask for consent.

We almost never uncover accursed tomes or massive government conspiracies.

(Archivist)

Ask Musk. He managed to do it on accident.