• amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
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    3 months ago

    Negotiations probably something like:

    Russia: “привет, we hold all the cards. What do you want to discuss?”

    US: “You suck, do what we want or we’ll be really mad.”

    Russia: “Has this worked for you before?”

    US: “Yeah, for like, decades.”

    Russia: “But you held cards then, now we hold them.”

    US: “Wait, you need to have teeth behind the threats?”

    Russia: “You did not know this?”

    US: “Well, we’ve been using tariffs.”

    Russia: “Yes, this is not exactly subtle.”

    US: “That’s teeth though, that’ll make people do what we want.”

    Russia: “How in world did you topple Soviet Union?”

    US: “That was past US, we’re still working on making it great again.”

    Russia: “And you do this with tariffs?”

    US: “Yes, the more, the better.”

    Russia: “This is interesting foreign policy strategy.”

    US: “Yeah, I learned it in New York from bullying tenants.”

    Russia: “We are not tenant of US.”

    US: “Yet.”

    Russia: “I am ending call now.”