volvoxvsmarla

I got a kid but not a car. Just walking to the kindergarten and back twice a day is movement. We spend a lot of time outdoors at playgrounds or parks and I have to do all the grocery shopping by bike or walking. I don’t do other physical exercise admittedly, but this kid is a fitness machine. We be running, playing, I need to lift her, carry her, carry her stuff, clean up, wrestle - for real having a kid made me the most physically fit and active I’ve ever been.

When I was younger I liked to dance. Trying to lose weight I’d just put headphones on in my room and dance for hours. A friend of mine actually lost a crapton of weight this way, think obese to normal weight.

Also, making a kid (and training for it and reenacting it) is great exercise.

No, the people you mentioned are fine. I think it is something with the nose-chin-cheek combo that I find appalling.

For Jennifer Lawrence it’s a separate thing, we have many similar features (like fat cheeks and hooded eyes) and it creeps me out too much and I get insecure watching her. I keep thinking how weird I must look and reevaluate my makeup the whole time, it’s too stressful.

I also have a thing where I can’t stop thinking of rooster anuses whenever I see Kevin Bacon (his mouth).

I want to emphasize that none of this is meant in a mean spirited way and those people are beautiful the way they are. It’s my brain that makes these associations and I very much disapprove of them.

I have that face thing with Patrick Swayze and Meryl Streep. And the girl from Dirty Dancing. I am working on getting over Jennifer Lawrence’s face. All these people are surely somewhat good actors but there is something about their faces that I cannot stand and it makes it impossible for me to focus on the plot. I just made it through Silver Linings Playbook today, finally, it was hard but I am glad I managed, Lawrence did a good job and I forgot about her face for almost 30% of the time. One day I will manage to watch more than 15 minutes of Dirty Dancing.

WHAT DOES THE BLACK MOONFACE MEAN

I ask my spouse all the time and he just replies with another black moonface

I never played princess. I always wanted to play queen. Married, mature and with power, sounded like a much better deal.

My alcohol addiction

I actually do because we tried to swear less when we had a baby

Now it’s hard to stop even if I am not around my baby or swear word hating spouse

Oh they just didn’t translate idiomatically. Alot of times they translated it literally and very badly. So a lot of puns just don’t work at all. Not the worst example but one that I remember out of my head is when Rachel and Ross have their fight in the cafe right before their first kiss. I think they say that the shop has long sailed (which is a saying and works with relationship) but they also talk about ships in German. Which isn’t too bad but it’s not a saying in German, you would say the train has left. The German word for relationship also has no “ship” so them talking about ships was really random. You can take it as a metaphor still, so it was ok-ish, but why would two New Yorkers use ships as a metaphor out of the blue.

A lot of sexual innuendo that is more or less obvious in English just absolutely doesn’t work in German. Like the dude with the watch who claims he has a dry spell (Monica’s date) - when he starts talking about having no ink in his pen it just sounds super off. Not like in a well designed metaphor but just like “???” you get it but it’s just not something that works.

There is also a scene that is so random that I can’t even pinpoint it down right now. Monica asks Joey (or Chandler?) whether he will be good to some specific girl and he doesn’t get the question. In English (and with context) it makes sense and it’s funny why he doesn’t get it, in German it is so random, you absolutely are on Joey’s side because you do not understand wtf is going on and what he is supposed to answer and why Monica would ask that. As I said, I’ve watched the show a lot and I can’t even tell you the context because it is so unfitting in the moment. I’ve watched the whole show like 15 times in German and about 5 times in English and I only got it when I watched it in English. If I remember what episode that was I’ll let you know.

I wish I could provide you with more and better examples but it’s been at least 6 years since my last rerun :(

As a side note, the Russian dub is so much worse quality wise, but they end up just summarizing more or less idiomatically what happens. Jokes are lost this way, but at least there is no confusion about what is happening.

Why on earth would we support people trying to hide this stuff from children, when a not-so-small number of us knew what we were looking at when we were children?

I watched Sailor Moon on German TV in the 90s (RTL 2 gang unite!). And whenever this topic of changes in the dubs comes up I struggle to remember how they put it in the German translation exactly because of what you said. It doesn’t matter how they translated it. It was so obvious. I haven’t known anyone who didn’t know exactly what was going on (but to be fair, it was common knowledge what lesbians were).

(Also 90s German dubs in general sometimes turned out weird - looking at you, first three seasons of FRIENDS - so I kinda didn’t over interpret the exact wording because I was so used to strange ways of putting things.)

Thanks, I hope so too. For now she’s very much into girls as main characters so maybe I’ll get lucky with the series.

I once heard that a teenager will act very similarly to how they acted at 3 years old. Extrapolating from that (my child is 3.5) it’s very likely that she will also not like anything I like or listen to anything I say. When she has the choice between A and B she suggests C. Her answer to the Sally-Anne test is wild. I’m pretty sure she’ll keep destroying metaphorical boxes or playing Schrödinger’s cat instead of just thinking inside or outside the box.

I also always dreamt of having music playing in the background and dancing to it. She hates recorded music. She likes singing and me/others singing (sometimes) but God beware I turn on a CD.

Also, time to call your son and invite him over for a WoW weekend I guess.

That’s so disappointing. To me, Sailor Moon is the OG all inclusive series. (It was my very favorite show ever as a kid and probably still is.) I kinda love how they didn’t make a big deal out of it. The star sailors change sex when they transform and it’s not even talked about. It just is how it is and nobody wonders about it. Neptune and Uranus having the hots for each other is portrayed as any other romance is and iirc no character ever addresses the “taboo” of it. Even the alien incest is somehow fine (I mean they are aliens and extinct so they do them).

I understand the LGBTQ+'s struggle for representation and acceptance, so probably they do need somewhat of an over accentuated representation on screen to eventually reach full acceptance. But Sailor Moon seems to be what comes “after” this, just normalization without it ever being a question. All the while sparking an interest in astronomy in kids who then know all the names of the dwarf planets in our solar system before they know the multiplication table.

Man I can’t wait till my kid reaches Sailor Moon watching age.

How about we collect the potential inheritance of everyone that passes and then divide it equally to everyone who became 18 that year. Or it goes to a government fund that pays for a 30k bonus to everyone turning 18 (or 25, etc).

I am seeing this myself. I grew up in a Munich suburb and everyone was growing up in houses except my migrant ass and the other migrant asses, we were in rented apartments. Then, when we became young adults, guess who didn’t have to pay for rent, who was rather worryless about their housing situation long term? Because everyone knew they would inherit the houses that were surging in value and are now between one and several million euros worth.

Now I am getting older and am friends with refugees. You want to tell me that the daughter of the guy who worked himself off after leaving Afghanistan at age 15, learning German but only managing to get a salesman apprenticeship, deserves nothing as inheritance? Because this is what it is going to be. His parents have worked their asses off raising 9 kids in a small home, they had no money but they gave it all.

We are all in our very early 30s and we can already extrapolate how differently our financial situations, our security nets, and our children’s security nets will be. And we are lucky living in a social democracy.

Again - there is and must be a distinction between the blame, responsibility and guilt of an 18 year old uneducated soldier, nurse etc and a political leader. But this does not automatically absolve the former from all responsibility and guilt. You should and hopefully do focus on the latter’s guilt and responsibility, as it is much larger than the others’. Focussing on the people who follow orders is not what I would advertise for and this isn’t the intent, it is actually the exact opposite. By differentiating different aspects and kinds of guilt you have tools and language at hand to talk about it without putting everyone in the same boat.

It is not a black and white issue. Everyone got blood on their hands - you and me included - just in different amounts, in different ways.

Very honestly - I’ve still not read the book entirely and I have started because I felt some feeling of guilt myself for being a Russian living outside Russia. I think that’s actually exactly what Jaspers, along with his students (the book is basically a dialectic lecture written down with results of work of his class from one semester), was trying to figure out. So I am not the best person to lecture you about that.

From as far as I have read these distinctions are exactly what allow people to talk about guilt, responsibility, trauma, the past, etc, without judging everyone by the same standards. Like, a criminal is judged by the court who defines for a crime they committed. A politician who took part in ordering crimes will be judged by the victor of a war. A soldier (just like a secretary) will be judged in dialogue with others and by his conscience for their individual actions, even if they were following orders. And a normal person who looked away or didn’t actively do their best to stop the atrocities that happen in the world, well, this person’s metaphysical guilt can basically only be judged by a metaphysical instance itself, be it God or another undefined transcendence. Basically all of us bear the latter.

They are very distinct and do not have the same repercussions. It is without doubt that political leaders have a much different, much more facetted responsibility for crimes committed. And we should focus on that. But this does not clean the people who followed their orders from all guilt, and their responsibility and crimes (against humanity) will be judged, just in a different way.

Edit: I’ve added a better phrased summary in my original comment above, since I have realized that translating German political philosophy isn’t my strength exactly.

In the aftermath of World War II, Carl Jaspers formulated in Die Schuldfrage that there are four types of guilt (/responsibility). Criminal guilt, political guilt, moral guilt, and metaphysical guilt. It is a great distinction in general. Yes, political leaders bear a different kind of guilt for the actions than the soldiers, but acting on clearly morally wrong commands do not obliterate guilt from the soldiers. Just like everyone who basically didn’t give their life in pursuit of the good and the right bears some metaphysical guilt for what is happening in the world.

Edit: I realized that, since I am neither an English native, nor very articulate in philosophy or politics, I would rather ask perplexity for a summary. So here it is: Karl Jaspers, in his work The Question of German Guilt, distinguishes four categories of guilt and assigns specific instances to each:

1. Criminal Guilt:

   Definition: Violations of objectively provable laws that are legally considered crimes.

   Instance: The court, which determines the facts and applies the laws in formal proceedings.

2. Political Guilt:

   Definition: Arises from the actions of statesmen and the shared responsibility of every citizen for the government of their state.

   Instance: The power and will of the victor, especially after a lost war, as in the case of Germany after World War II.

3. Moral Guilt:

   Definition: Refers to individual actions for which every person is morally responsible, even if carried out under orders.

   Instance: One’s own conscience and dialogue with others.

4. Metaphysical Guilt:

   Definition: A shared responsibility for all injustice in the world, based on human solidarity. It arises when one does not do everything possible to prevent injustice.

   Instance: God or transcendence.

Jaspers emphasizes that this differentiation is meant to avoid simplistic or generalized accusations of guilt. He rejects the idea of collective criminal or moral guilt for an entire people, arguing that guilt is always individual.

I even remember the moment I heard. My husband came to me and our baby, we were playing on the bed, it was a Thursday. He asked if I had heard yet. I asked what, and he told me that Russia attacked Ukraine. It felt so surreal. It felt like being held at gunpoint to r*pe your sibling.

We don’t live in Russia or Ukraine, but we have close friends and relatives in both countries. For about a week I couldn’t concentrate on our daughter. My head was somewhere else which felt awful, but was also the first time I had allowed myself to think about something else and not give her 100% of my attention. We went to demonstrations (well who cares) and kept doom scrolling, which felt more urgent, more necessary to stay in touch with what is happening. We realized how we didn’t see the obvious for years. Which was very painful, since my husband was always interested in politics, also back when he lived in Russia, and got me into being more political myself. We were way too naive about it.

We kept asking our friends and family how they were, what they planned to do. Some fled immediately. Some a bit later. Most stayed. With time, the imminent feeling of threat and impending doom numbs down to low key anxiety. So many years down the drain. So many futures waisted. They stole their futures.

I remember I kept telling my daughter “one day we will tell you about a war between our countries that lasted for 1 day when you were a baby”. 2 days. 10 days. 30 days. I stopped counting at 100.

Now I just hope we will have time to go there. Will my grandparents be able to see their great granddaughter? Will she meet her grandpa in Russia? Will she ever be able to play with her cousins in rural Ukraine? I had planned to spend summers there, to get to know this side of my spouse’s family, and hoped she would get to learn some snippets of Ukrainian there. That’s how he knows the language. And now I just hope that his cousins will not die. The fat one lost about 2/3 of his body weight so far. I’m not surprised being in the military does this to you.

Damn I even remember the pigeons. That stupid pigeons. We had pigeon problems on the balcony and in March 2022 they built a nest and it had eggs in it. But the day prior they bombed an orphanage. Or a children’s hospital? Or a maternity ward? God these assholes bomb everything, don’t they. And I cried and we couldn’t do it, we couldn’t bring ourselves to remove the eggs. We had freaking pigeon babies with incredibly proud pigeon parents who were, btw, super progressive, crazy emancipated pigeons, both were looking for the eggs and babies equally. We gave them names when they hatched and watched them grow older. And then fuck nature, about two weeks before they would have left the nest, a fucking crow ate Hittin first, and poor Putler was so, so scared, and we tried to shelter him and even lifted the rule of no feeding no water, but then the next day, he was dead as well. The parents were devastated. We were devastated. We were powerless. We still are. We couldn’t protect them. We couldn’t make a change even when we tried. We were powerless.

The universe stood still, and then it started going with a different pace and in another direction than before.

Not sure where I am going with this, I think I’m just grateful someone else found this moment… Majorly significant.

I’m pretty sure there is enough research that supports the idea of paternity leave increasing parental involvement and connection with your child and leading to more gender equality/more balanced responsibilities in families.

My husband and I went the very conservative route with him being off for 2 months and me being off for 3 years (German classic). Let me tell you I would have not survived the newborn stage, having no help from outside, without him. At the same time, for him it was so hard - although I am not sure that work was easier, he after all still came home to a little baby. Parental leave doesn’t mean you get to chill, it means you have no excuse for not doing half of the night shift, half of everything except breast feeding. When he went back to work, he would do the night shifts on the weekends, and I would do all the night shifts on workdays.

Your co-workers are morons. They miss out on helping their baby mamas, connecting with their kids, and going through a unique experience. Even if your pay was much lower, it’s worth it. It’s hard and stressful and awful and it is the best thing you’ll ever do.

Damn we have similar goals but different reasons. I want to have been on all continents and I am obsessed with going to Antarctica. If I had the money, I would want to stand on the planet’s axis. And have the whole world actually revolve around me. Doing this on the North Pole too would be great, but it’s not a continent and therefore has second place.

And now, can you elaborate the weird stuff the sun does at the poles? Besides polar night and polar day?

When my husband moved to Germany from Russia, he had no idea whether he was vaccinated as a child or not (he very likely was, but there weren’t records he was aware of and his mom died early). So he went to the doctor’s to ask for titers. They said they could test that but he would have to pay out of pocket, and offered to just vaccinate him again for free. He went through all the children’s vaccines - including chicken pox, which wasn’t around when we were kids (90s). It is the simpler, more accessible, and cheaper alternative to titers.

I gotta say the cybertruck one is so hilarious and desperate I’d spare it my rage