Malaphors are my faves. Like saying "we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it*

It’s ADHD hell

I was able to get dismissed with a therapist’s note last time

Police already have those

What’s next? The guy who runs the corner gas station sells cigarettes at his store. Cigarettes are addictive and known to cause cancer. So this means the guy who owns the gas station should get murdered?

He’s not the one making them, the cigarette companies are

What about the CEOs of the gun companies? Should they get murdered because they put out a product that people use to kill others?

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Those oppressors would just as easily turn around and kill you while profiting off it, why give them a pass?

just because they don’t like them.

Wow what a way to oversimplify the problem. Would you have been saying this in May 1945?

Question, can I change my sex at birth?

Fire eating. It’s super dangerous so there’s a lot of safety protocol you must follow. But when it comes time to actually do it, most of the difficulty is psychological

(I’m an instructor)

Someone should start a petition

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If you’re ok with the possibility of someone (potentially you) dying, call the cops

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Black Hole Sun

Vapor tricks have come a very long way over the last 20 years. Look up Joseph Kerr if you wanna see insane shit. I’ve met him before, he’s super friendly.

Fire staff was my first prop :P

Yeah, I’m a sideshow performer (fka a freakshow). This is my fav video of the drill because of the audience reaction

Everything about me is a weird flex

• I invented two novel fire eating tricks, one of which involves my split tongue
• I can scratch the back of my skull through my nose with an icepick. I can also put a running power drill in my nose or feed a silicone tube through and out the mouth
• I often shave with a torch or lighter

Nothing clears out the sinuses better than a power drill. No I’m not kidding.

Obligatory, I’m a professional sideshow performer. Don’t try this at home. If you do it wrong you WILL regret it

I honestly enjoy most cheese but munster is my favorite to snack on. Honorable mentions are feta, super sharp cheddar, gouda, havarti, and fontina.

I’ve had many rarer cheeses that I quite enjoyed, but I unfortunately don’t remember their names. One of them was cured inside cedar(?) bark and had a delicious woody flavor.

Baskin Robbins in the US sells a brie and burrata ice cream with apricot jam, and it’s actually quite good. I had some today.

Police are useless and will take the side of the abuser, but she needs a police report to get a restraining order

I use it a lot to proofread my creative writing

If all you care about is money, crank out the most soulless crap that panders to the masses, get into money laundering, or sell feet pics and furry art