• 4 Posts
  • 97 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • Similar boat. I’m climbing out of a pit of 10 year of shit luck and painful life events. I’ve been getting glimpses of the good life and was starting to accept my progress and recognize how far things had come. My trajectory was success. Now I have 4+ years of bullshit to look forward to and even if the dems win the next time, they’ve shown they won’t, can’t, don’t know how to wield that power effectively.

    My partner has an adult dependent who now lives with us and it is going to put a wrench into the wheels of our own plan to leave for overseas where we want to start a family somewhere where it is affordable and they are less likely to be victimized or murdered at school and will actually learn something. This would not be such a big deal as we make a good family, but staring down the barrel of this red white and blue idiocracy, the barriers to leaving feel like a sledgehammer to the face.

    To your last point, I’m moderately happy with my state government though my municipality is Religious, MAGA, Jesusland, hell. I used to wish for revolution or huge social change as a kid, but as an adult I realize that we all need to change our own hearts and start treating each other with respect. Institutions can be changed, but it has to happen from the bottom up through individual actions (or intentional lack of action). Top down always results in tyranny. That’s why this education domino is going to hurt so bad. People won’t learn how to think anymore, just what to think, and they’ll be monitored closely from the day they are born to the day they die. Still holding out hope though.


  • You might also check out the book “More Than One”. Polyamory is a beautiful relationship style that I have seen done very well and very poorly, just like traditional relationships. Triads can sometimes be problematic when one part of the relationship is preestablished. Balancing everyone’s needs is difficult and people screw up all the time. If this guy is able to date outside the relationship, is she also able to enjoy that same priviledge? How about the other girl? Who sets the rules in the relationship and how is it handled when one person disagrees with the others on something? How do you respond to " you always side with (other partner)". Polyamory is hard work. Not sure what country/state you are in, but birth control could become an issue for her. As with any relationship subculture/orientation/style I am concerned for my poly friends and what the future holds for them and doubly concerned for the women.




  • I was a late bloomer and I still feel like my brief brush with religion in my late teens and early twenties crippled my social skills for over a decade. Having said that, I managed to have a few awkward dates here and there and fewer still became relationships. Something they don’t tell you is that 80-90% of dates are awkward and terrible, but for many people including myself, when it clicks, it clicks.

    I knew a woman at work once. I always stay very professional at work but I am friendly and nice to people. One day we were doing some bullshit paperwork and had a really good conversation and at some point when we were smiling and laughing I felt the vibes. We got a beer with friends after work. A few weeks later she got fired for some stupid shit but we stayed friends and dated for a month or two after. In this instance dating was primarily fun and adventurous. Getting to known each other etc. Bonus points because she had a cool roommate and her ex who came by for the kiddo once in a while was a cool too.

    Another women I dated was already a longtime friend of mine. She went away to college and I saw her rarely for years. When she moved back, I invited her to hang out and we hit it off. We had a lot of fun and I felt the attraction, so I asked her out on a date. Because we had such a strong friendship beforehand, dating her felt like hanging out with my best friend, but more romantic.

    For me, the thing that changes it from friend hangout to a date is:

    1. Intention, everyone has to know it is a date.
    2. A date typically has some hint of a potential romantic and or sexual interest, even if it’s subtle, not stated overtly, or vague. Having said that, it’s better to be bold and clear. When I first started dating I used to go in slow for the kiss when the vibes were right. I never misread the vibes too badly, but it’s 2024, so now I always get verbal consent before I even kiss someone. I was honestly surprised at how often “I would like to kiss you,” or “would you like to kiss me” gets a yes. If you get a no, most people are thankful to have been asked and that somewhat counteracts any awkwardness from being shut down.


  • Due to immunocompromised people I regularly interact with, I masked and isolated much more and much longer than the average person in my area. I still keep a mask in the car and on my bike. They also come in useful when you don’t want to be recognized or bothered by people. I’m not sure if they cause problems for some facial recognition tech, but that would be a welcome bonus.





  • I will remember this, even more so because of the confused drama that preceded it. In general, I find it difficult for me to endorse any commercial entity, but Bitwarden has my admiration and I will continue to offer it as a better alternative to people I see storing their passwords in Chrome or Lastpass. I’m also happy to pay a bit to support a good product and will continue to support the development even if I switch to self-hosted at some point.




  • I’ve seen this in various threads on Lemmy. I’m sure Kagi has some cool features, but I don’t know how any search engine can overcome the walled garden effect that is plaguing the internet today. The data just isn’t out there to be curated anymore, it’s locked behind the hedges of the different sites.

    I think search might have been killed. I expect in my lifetime, we’ll have to sign all our communications using encryption to keep algorithms from impersonating us online to trick people into buying stuff. I’m kind if surprised there isn’t an organized resistance collecting legit reviews.



  • I know Glassdoor has issues. I didn’t know they allowed suppression of comments. I imagine a former employer of mine would have gladly paid $$$ to fix their 1.7* rating rather than actually pay us more so we could actually give them a higher rating. Instead they had new hires rate the place highly before they got dumped into the live operation. Still one of the lower ranked companies on Glassdoor.

    I found a few similar sites that seem more “pure”, but they really only work for the tech industry.

    I agree with you about the torrent of sewage. Its hard to find good data. Honestly, a 1yr pre-enshittification reddit dataset searched with Ctrl+F is likely better at answering many questions than today’s google search.