Agree with a lot, and want to add: it doesn’t eat even a fraction of the time that doomscrolling reddit did. My feeds actually have an end and refreshing often does nothing, so I can put my phone away and try breaking the habit of picking it right back up again.
An issue I observe in kids is that children lack positive, physically available, male role models. Women can raise kids to be very tender and empathetic, but at some point most boys will start to model themselves after the men they see around them.
I guess the issue then exacerbate if they as adults are surrounded by only men who don’t check each others behaviour, but I have no eyes in men-only groups.
I would not volunteer to socialise men, as I do enough free emotional labour for the men in my life as it is. I might consider it if it was well paid and didn’t interfere with my actual job or hobbies. But honestly it sounds a bit scary, like the sort of event that would draw in angry hateful men who are looking for ways to be triggered by women speaking their mind, along with the ones open to learning, plus I abhor public speaking so it sounds like a terrible way to spend my precious time. Men need to be the ones modelling safe behaviour for boys, and men need to be the ones telling other men off when they behave like dogs and teach them how to control themselves.
I second the person saying dance lessons. There have been plenty of men in my group that have been shy or nervous or socially awkward, but everyone who follows dances with everyone who leads (which is usually but not exclusively a male/female split).
(Ps. Are you aware of asexuality? Might be something to look into for yourself)
Create shade wherever the sun shines, on the outside before the sun even hits the house. Focus especially on shading the glass and metall parts of your house. Make it angled and with some distance from the house so it still allows air flow. Mesh will shade less but allow more airflow and tarp will block pretty much all wind byt also pretty much all sun, so experiment with the tradeoff for different parts of the house like near windows or over the roof.
Where I live that’s enough to keep me reasonably, so thats all I know. Probably need to learn more with the more extreme weather we have now.
Taking a step back and really looking at who they really are, how they really behave, not hiw I imagine them to be or intentions I assume they have.
Either because they turn out to be pretty bland people I have been able to bulid fantasies around or because our issues was actually just their bad behaviour that I was able to imagine excuses for, or because I realise that we are not a good match (we want different things or tend to trigger each other in unhealthy ways) and a relationship between us would be more hurt than it’s worth.
Like you seeing her ableism and homophobia instead of just your fantasies around who she is and how your relationship would be.
Kind of depends on the situation. The compliment I’d want most is vastly different coming from a boss or coworker, or a child, my parents, a friend or a lover.
But in general something tied to reality works best, when I’ve done something recently that ties into the praise. That goes both for practical stuff like how creatively or well I did a work task or built a table, and more personal/interpersonal stuff like how kind or insightful I’ve been when listening and giving advice to a troubled friend.
I want to write gnocchi code, where each little nugget is good on its own and they still blend together perfectly in the sauce. But I still end up with mashed potato-code if I don’t watch myself.
Being able to forge a new relationship with them after a few years apart. To get to know and understand them as flawed people rather than imperfect parents, and them in turn learning to respect and trust me as an adult.
And being able to take as long baths as I want without any disruptions.
Have you activated the settings that hides viewed posts?
But is it “Good god. You all.” or “Good god, y’all.”?
Usually the host pays. If it’s at a sit-down restaurant with a menu (where different food have different prices and people can order sides ans dessertand drinks and stuff) everyone pays for themselves… but surely you’re not having a kids birthday party at a sit-down restaurant? It’s a place that specialises in servicing children and hosting child parties, where you can order a buffet for everyone/the kids, right?
But as long as you communicate expectations clearly on the invite you can do as you like. For example: “There will be buffet style food served for the kids to eat. Accompanying adults can buy food at a café next to the playground.” Or “Entry to the jump yard is X:- per child. Since each family pays for themselves we don’t expect birthday gifts” (make sure your child knows this).
Parties can be made pretty cheap, so I would prefer a type of party that fits your budget rather than create an expensive party where some kids might not affort to join the celebrations. It’s not the location or fancy foods or special activities/entertainment, it’s the people and (for many kids) the theme, that makes it special.
Aside from the advice asked and answered in this thread, I’d encourage you to make phone calls when the information is time sensitive, such as being short on time and needing to communicate that overtime will happen and know if the assignment is still approved.
This way you’ll get a response immediately and wont have to sit around for confirmation or start tasks you wont have time to finish or wait for unreliable tech to work to get communication through.
I bought myself a new name on impulse.
I had been joking about considering taking that name on and off my whole life, but didn’t expect the name change approval papers to show up a couple of weeks after a bender.
Turns out joking about stuff for a long time can just rewire your brain, and I’m actually really happy with my new name.
I haven’t read the book, but I think there is a big difference between a flawed character and a flawed message.
Like: Is it just that the flawed character is saying that other girls are shallow and leeches onto popular boys without having anything to offer, or is the book/story/author agreeing and implying it with how the other female characters act when not observed through that character or by never having that flawed presumption challenged?
A character having internalised misogyny and mood swings can be them clearly being torn between their fear of abandonment and their love or attraction because they are a flawed character written very well, or it can be lazy writing with no clear character understanding or reason for their erratic changes, depending on how its done.
Some of my favourite pieces of media is with characters I would absolutely hate in real life, or who are deeply flawed but understandable and/or not rewarded for it.
Attraction is not love, not enough for a relationship.
She can tell that you don’t care about her enough, but since youre in a relationship you say that you do… so she must be really confused and suffering because she either denies the validity of your relationship or denies what she knows is true about your lack of care for her. Should she trust you or her own senses, you know…
Surely you can see how mean it is to put someone through that? To trap her in a relationship where you don’t want to be her actual partner and love all of her?
I would like to know how much time you actually spend with your girlfriend, because from what I see here… yeah. You’re not being a good partner.
She tells you she want to be more of a priority and get more time and attention from you, and your solution is to tell her she can get time with you when your actual priority (Max) is busy. That’s exactly the issue - you choose Max over her when there is a choice, and only choose her when there are no “better” opinions because Max is busy.
Not to mention choosing TV over your girlfriend.
Based on this, you need to think about whether you actually have time and space in your life for your girlfriend and if you are willing to prioritise being a good partner. Maybe you are happy with your life as it is and don’t actually want to change it to incorporate a romantic partner. That’s absolutely fine, but be honest about it and don’t try to have your cake and eat it too. Relationship takes time and work, no one can keep their life and routines as is and add a partner without making changes to incorporate the relationship. Do you like her enough to choose her and be her partner, not as a label but as a way of life?
Asking ones parter to be part of their life and be more of a priority is not “drama”, saying that sounds really dismissive and that is quite often used to keep women quiet and shamed, so be mindful of how you perceive your own girlfriend. No one is immune to internalising sexism regardless of gender.
Of course there is the possibility that you already call her an hour every day and she’s being unreasonable in you wanting ten min to talk to your friend (with the four hour chat being the only time you talked longer than that), if so disregard the above.
Learn an instrument, or join a choir, or learn some craft like knitting or crocheting (find a craft circle/club for the social aspect and to have someone to learn from).
Something practical and physical. You’ll still be learning and using your brain, but very different pathways from academia.
If it works in your fantasy then go for it, as long as you’re able to separate fantasy from reality.
Once you’re ready to experience sex with another person, be prepared for the taste, smell and sensation of living human skin to be very different from the taste and smell of dead and burnt/cooked/charred, or even raw, meat regardless of if the animal of origin.
So just dont train yourself too hard to be turned on by dead meat to the point that living people wwont do it for you, because its not going to be the same.
Ps. There are a lot of things you can do with another person that doesnt have to wait until marriage, where you can still experience the sensation of another, if you want to.
Protective gloves representing a lot of blue collars like industrial, mechanical, medical, and maintenance, cleaning.
Keyboard or headset (I considered outlook calendar or zoom symbols, but dont think a specific company should be immortalised here) for a lot of white collars.
Really depends on jurisdiction.
Where I’m from, a confession like that isn’t enough for a guilty verdict, there needs to be evidence backing it up. It can be enough to open an investigation and perhaps start prosecution, but anyone can confess to anything for any reason. If the confession includes details unknown to the public and impossible for an outsider to guess it would be more reliable than a general “I did it”-confession, but may still not be enough without additional evidence.