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Joined 18 days ago
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Cake day: October 8th, 2026

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  • Weed, video games, over eating.

    that list used to include drinking alcohol, but I’ve been clean from that for like 7 or 8 years.

    When life is going well, I don’t overeat over-game, or smoke weed much. But then holiday season descends upon my life and I’m left with a feeling of “hunker down and survive.” and in so doing, I go back to my comforts of weed, video games, and over-eating.

    C’est la vie. I gain and lose 20lbs every year it seems.




  • I mean if I had a magic gun that, when fired, put a bullet into the brain of every trump supporter, I’d empty the clip.

    So… yeah, I’d use the death note.

    plus on billionaires. hoarding ill-gotten capital while buying politicians to ensure you remain at the top is violence. Dismantling institutions for the poor, crafting an america with income inequality at it’s worse since the great depression, 70,000 americans die every year due to lack of access to health care. That is violence, perpetrated against us all, by republicans, and by corporate capitalists. They let you rot and melingure in poverty, dying in shame for having nothing, that’s akin to torture. A swift death via death note is almost too kind for them.



  • There’s three of them that did it for me.

    1. Chucky. Cuz duh, my dad let me watch it when I was far too young, and I had nightmares for weeks.

    2. Return to Oz. The Wizard of Oz sequel that featured a desolate Oz filled with nightmare creatures, and a witch that stole your fucking face.

    3. Some random movie that my older brother and his friends were watching. I came in just in time to see a scene, depicting a female led band on an outdoor stage. A man was brutally beaten in the audience, and the crowd set him on fire. He was desperately rolling around, trying to extinguish the flames, and almost did it, but then the woman lead singer of the band took a swig from a liquor bottle, and spit it out on him. The flames engulfed him, and now he lay motionless. The fear I felt was half from the agony of someone burning alive, and half from the wretched cruelty of the crowd and the lead singer. The mob mentality where nobody helped him, and not just didn’t help him, but made it worse. Fucking horrifying. My first glance into the mind of psychopathy.



  • My problem is that I want kids.

    Except, I know it’s stupid. The insurmountable student loan debt that’s currently a yoke around my neck is half of what it would cost to raise my ideal two children to just 18 years old. Climate change is going to destroy our way of life in the next 30 years, I’d be bringing them into a world on the brink of collapse. Society will break down when famine/disease start going unchecked, this is what I want them to experience? All so, what? I can have a little buddy that looks up to me and thinks I’m great for a few years? All so I can get my little kodak moments in between miserable days filled with screaming, crying, no sleep, stress, financial hardship, troubled marriage, and no sex?

    And here I am, suffering from major chronic depression/anxiety… Would I even be a good steward of these children? I know I’d like to think of myself as just a baby away from switching into “Dad mode,” but would it be enough? Would I be waking up early to get my kids breakfast and lunch together, or would I fall deep into depression and get up at 2PM like I’ve been doing? Will I even have the energy enough to play with my kids after work? What about building that tree-house, and doing school projects? What about after-school sports and parties and everything else? I am barely holding myself together, am I really going to be able to switch my whole personality like a light switch into becoming the kind of Dad these kids would need?

    I would be trapping myself into a job I hate forever, just to have these children, which would also make retirement a fever dream.

    So why the hell do I still want them? I just wish my head and my heart could be on the same page for this, and they are just not.



  • Well what happened is it tried to update, got stuck, and now won’t start. tried starting it over and over and over again while hitting F1 and F2 and it just spins it’s fans. Though it randomly will start-up into a weird BIOS safe mode and give me a couple options, but I’ve yet to find the magic option that let’s me boot it up using the previous version of windows just so I can turn it into a Linux machine. It’s gotten to the point that I’m willing to pay someone to take it and convert it into Linux Fedora or Debian for me (and then pay for a quick tutorial in how tf Linux works 😭 )

    EDIT is this actually a service? If this exists I’ll fucking do it, I swear