It’s also not a scripting language.

It definitely is a scripting language.

hello-world.js:

#!/usr/bin/env node

console.log("Hello world");

Your favorite command line tool:

chmod +x ./hello-world.js
./hello-world.js

You just need to install npm, eg via apt-get install npm.

…unless you build the executable with optimizations that remove the stack frame. Good luck debugging that sucker!

Why does a ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider need PHP? I imagine it’s a typo’d Phillips-head screwdriver factory that got lost in the conversion to producing star-spangled torx screws.