The humor is in the amount of hoops to jump through to get some basic info out using Powershell. Under Linux one would use a single command or just check what the system exposes in the form of a file.
I have no idea how to do forensics under Windows to be honest. You’d probably have to write something to get to the block layer so it can be dumped and analyzed. Perhaps OP can amuse us how he went about it.
I’m glad I can laugh about it now. The one thing this did do was educate a lot of people about the importance on off-site backups and off-site fail overs.