c/Superbowl

For all your owl related needs!

  • 3 Posts
  • 248 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • No instance is going to be perfect, but instance admins are always going to set the house rules. I’m not going to say any more on the matter than I have only had good interactions with drag. I’m not trans, so I can’t speak to his effect on other trans people, but I believe the blahaj admins are. Even trans people aren’t going to always agree on everything, and that’s when it’s up to the admin to define what that line is with an issue.

    While their decision doubtlessly pushed many away, I’m also sure they put a lot of thought into their decision on what they felt was good for their instance as a whole, and right or wrong, it’s their decision to make. Some people I’m sure love them more for the choice they made.

    I listened to both sides and I think I see where both groups are coming from. I think blahaj did right based on what I understand their goals to be. Drag is one individual and anyone who didn’t like them could have simply blocked them and moved in with their lives, but so many had to confront them every time they popped up, which seemed like it violated their rules of respecting everyone.


  • No offense to the other replies, but I don’t feel they’re answering your question. While the ideal answer is to be yourself and not chasing trends, many people still want to look nice.

    I think one of the perks of being male is that there is so much great style that is considered timeless. I’m not very fashionable, but I try to buy things that won’t look dated anytime soon.

    I found this article that could be of help to you. It looks at 30 men from different decades that show off classic style, and even many of the older ones, if you borrowed aspects of their looks, you would still be stylish today.

    30 Icons of Timeless Men’s Style: The film stars, musicians, athletes and cultural figures who have left an indelible mark on the world of style




  • I haven’t checked out Beehaw in a while, but I used to enjoy spending time there. Some people didn’t like it because of how heavily they curated their instance, but I really enjoyed how polite it was. It ultimately discouraged a lot of people from going there, which they saw as good, but most outsiders saw as bad.

    As .world ramped up in volume, I had more and more to interact with here, and I ran out of time to be instance hopping so I haven’t checked what they’re up to lately.

    Overall, blahaj seems to have done a better job doing something similar while not alienating people. But if you want to see a Lemmy instance that decided to take the route less taken, maybe give them a look.




  • I hope I didn’t imply you did anything wrong in being shocked by what you found out. It seems a pretty normal reaction.

    Does them having an OF make what you originally enjoyed of them feel hypocritical? Like if they were for example promoting abstinence, some type of morality, or where they playing up their supposed innocence? Or is it more like, I thought this person wouldn’t do something like this publicly? If they got banned for promoting their OF, did you miss it up until now? Or is this more like in the news where a school finds out a teacher has an OF and fires them when it doesn’t have anything to do with their other gig?

    I understand you being intentionally vague, but it kinda makes it hard to pin down why you are feeling off about the whole situation or what you’re looking to get back from us.

    People online are both real and fake, and my original comment tried to say that. I try to come off very polite and educational here. That’s definitely a good part of the real me. But there’s a lot more to me. There’s a lot more than I won’t always put front and center, but I’ll open up if it’s relevant, like all the terrible shit I did to people before I got medicated or from being raised by a kind of crappy family and I had no empathy for a long time. I still have a lot of difficulties, and while I can be a chronically depressed introvert with no ambition or self esteem, I can also be a positive and outgoing educator or comedian. They’re both me. Sometimes I’m more one or the other or even both at once. T

    his person you’re talking about can be the same. They can be formal and proper or whatever the opposite of their OF persona is, and then do crazy extreme stuff in the OF context. They’ve understood and accepted those parts of themselves, and they’re not only doing the one thing that caught your interest, but also another totally different thing for another group.

    If you just take whatever time for you to process that both realities exist within that person, you will know if they’re someone you still wish to follow or not.


  • Your mind filled in a lot of gaps of who this other person is, based on what you knew based on just a narrow part of their life. It doesn’t sound like you have an issue with them having an OF, I think it’s an important distinction that you understand what was in your mind is what was odd, as the picture you had of them was so inaccurate.

    They aren’t doing anything odd, since it is who they are. It’s just them. You don’t know why they’re doing it. They may like it, they may hate it and are doing it to cover bills or something. While you now know more about them, you still don’t know them as a whole person.

    Thinking about people we like, respect, etc having sex is just not something most people typically do. Most everyone has sex though. Our parents, neighbors, celebrities, church people, racists, influencers, news anchors, etc. It’s just we think of all those people in other scenarios first before we think of them doing the nasty. You just basically walked in on someone while they were in the act and now it’s gotten your mind scattered.

    If you follow them and this has affected you, you obviously like and respect them. That probably means watching their OF isn’t the best idea if you want to continue thinking of them the way you were before. You’ve just seen a more intimate side of them now, and you can remind yourself there is more to them than just what you have seen so far.

    I’m a bit tired, so I hope that all made sense!









  • My buying strategy:

    1. Tell myself I don’t need it. If I can get by using anything I already have or can borrow, this is a total financial win.

    2. If I need something, research the hell out of it. This takes time, which boosts the chances of step 1 working out. It also lets me see what’s currently available, and I can compare my needs vs available products. Will the cheapest item work for me, or do I need something with more features or durability. It may be more upfront, but that is usually cheaper than buying twice and better than having an item break when you’re using it. Also gives me time to realize I will never use all the extra features of the fancier models. I also see the price range of products and can now tell when they go on sale and for how much so I don’t overpay. If it is available on Amazon, I can use the CamelCamelCamel website to see if and when it goes on sale, even if I don’t buy it from there. You can also set an email price alert there to notify you when it goes on sale.

    3. Try to figure out a solution for step 1 again.

    4. Give in and buy it when it’s on sale if it goes on sale.

    I just ran through this with purchasing a vacuum sealer. I’ve wanted one for many years but didn’t know if I’d use it enough to be worth it. My brother got one just to use with stuff we get from hunting once a year. It worked out great for that and he had a very basic model.

    Since he only used it once a year, I “borrowed” it for a year and it turns out I do use it a few times a month and I’ve found a number of traditional and less traditional uses for having one. I also got to see what I liked about his unit and what I wished it had.

    After reading reviews and watching videos for the year, I narrowed it down to 2, a basic one, and an upgrade. The basic was mostly the same as my borrowed one, but a different brand. The upgrade had built in bag storage, a cutter, a few extra sealing modes, a double sealing bar, and a more hands free lock. The basic would do fine, but I would still need a place to store the bag roll, and I used a paper cutter to cut the bags so I didn’t waste bag material or have a bad seal from an uneven edge, so that’s more I have to lug out every time I wanted to use it. The upgrade had that built in, so I just get out one thing, and the double seal would prevent more bad seals, as all would have a backup seal with no additional sealing time. It also has a pulse function so I could seal softer foods like breads and chips and marinated items, which I would use regularly. So the upgrade was the way to go for me.

    I saw the regular price was around 150, but it went on sale a few times a year for 99. Low and behold the other day I hear this trade war stuff and electronics was a thing that was going to take a beating, and food is still getting more expensive. Amazon has it for 150 still, but the manufacturer had it for 100 and free shipping. Perfect!

    It has a 2 year warranty but my one credit card extends factory warranties under 3 years for 50% longer, so I used that. So now I will have what should be the best unit for me, unpaid 30% less, and have 50% more warranty.

    That, to me, is a strong financial purchasing decision.