I’m currently reading The Expanse, and at one point a character mentions checking in on the family aggregator his cousin set up to help everyone keep track of who’s living where.

Dude spun up a private Lemmy instance for his family. The future is now!

The first 100 blinks per month are included with your subscription. Subsequent blinks are pay-as-you-go. Sign up now and we’ll include an additional 30 days of right hand turn signal access, absolutely free. (Taxes and processing fees may still apply. Void where prohibited.)

Will the real SLLM Shady please stand up?

When I was a freshman in college, I let this youth group convince me to visit their weird church. The “pastor” was a young guy who spent the entire sermon talking about how he squandered his time in college before eventually dropping out. Fortunately, the old pastor took pity on him and gave him a job as an assistant—running errands, cleaning, etc. Then one day the old pastor died, so our hero basically just took over since no one else wanted to.

When it was done he tried to sell us bags of stale coffee.

Sorry, best we can do is a premium (expensive) ad-free tier that still advertises our own products.