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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • Not sure this is comforting, but I e always gotten by by going where the demand is. I didn’t know anything about the industry my first job was in, but the company was hiring like crazy so I applied. Stayed there for a few years, applied to whatever I could find to get out of there and sit out my non-compete, then kept going from job to job in that industry because there was demand.

    A huge amount of it was luck. But it helped that I didn’t try to pick some job or industry then hope I could find work, but rather I looked where there was work and just went there.

    Is staking your sense of stability on your career the wrong way to think about this?

    Of fuck yeah that’s the worst way. Do what you have to do to get paid, but then find as much meaning as you can elsewhere.




  • Can you have this conversation slowly over time? Ask a few questions about their plans, maybe make a suggestion, mention other old parts who have handled planning in a mature way, and don’t make a deal out of it if they don’t want to take your ideas. I’ve found that sometimes you can plant an idea and people will warm up to those ideas and even decide it was their idea. Which is annoying, but gets the job done.

    But yeah if you go into this expecting them to change a lifetime of emotional programming, you’re gonna have a bad time.









  • 2 aunts love to pretend everything is fine, they excel doing that on funerals and weddings, then stab you in the back as soon as you’re not within ear distance, either need drama to feel important or have way too much free time.

    Okay? If shitty people do shitty things, let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

    It kinda sounds like you let what other people do affect you deeply. Maybe work on giving fewer fucks about people’s drama and giving more fucks about what’s important to you. I know that’s easy for me to say, but it is an attitude that can be cultivated.




  • If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this?

    When applying to jobs, it’s usually not a good idea to badmouth your former employer. No matter how true your statements are it can come across as you being whiny and having a bad attitude. It sucks that we have to lie like this but it’s not like employers are totally honest with us so turnabout is fair play.

    Anyway come up with something ambitious-sounding like you wanted to contribute more/in different ways, you wanted a new challenge, etc. Make it sound like you’re excited for the new job, not fleeing the old one. Save telling the truth for anonymous online forums and friends.