Thank you!

With or without the Google services, I bought my first Pixel years ago and have never looked back.

My wife and I just bought my first home this week. The market is fucking brutal. You think you’re getting in early to view a new listing and there are ten other realtors’ cards already on the kitchen table. Made the highest offer? Fuck you. This guy out of Vancouver offered market price with zero conditions. House is old as hell and really should have had an inspection. OH WELL! SUCK A DICK! 🤷

We wound up getting exactly what we had been waiting for. House was on the market for 13 hours, we were the first to make an offer, sellers accepted almost immediately. Inspection went well. Detached home in a cozy little cul-de-sac. Lush back yard with a high, solid fence. Dude, I can’t fucking wait. I’ve been in a townhouse with a back 40 that looks like the dormatories of a Russian mining complex.

I remember seeing be was a guest on Rogan and thinking, “Oh, wow. I guess I’ll listen to Rogan again this one time to hear a Kennedy talking.”

Turns out it was right on fucking brand for Rogan.

Dude looks like Shaggy fucked Scoobie Doo and had a sigma baby.

Every time I read SLAMMED in an headline, my brain damage grows exponentially worse. I can’t keep taking these kind of blows…

Meanwhile, everyone will bitch about the absurdity of this and how shitty Musk and his followers are, then continue to use the platform daily as though it’s an essential service. Anyone who hasn’t jumped ship my now is either complacent or wholly supportive.

I was a part of a Blursed AI group on Facebook that had been a lot of fun, but suddenly this week it first shifted to Taylor Swift porn, and then to alt-right MAGA shit very quickly. The comments on the Trump and MAGA related images were very on-board with it too. The change was so abrupt that I got the fuck out of there. Seemed orchestrated.

I saw someone using one of these to weave or knit or something, and it seemed to me a pretty good explanation.

Edit: If it’s truly such a mystery, is it at all possible these only exist because they looked interesting? Just a knick-knack for your shelf?

“Did you see those things Caius Cosades is making down at the den? Not much you can with them, but they’re neat.”

It’s not as though we don’t make pointless and artistic things today.

I’ve tried to install this multiple times but always manage to fuck it up somehow. I think the guides I’m following are outdated or pointing me to one or more incompatible files.

You wake up every day, look at those pubes in the mirror and think, “Nah, it’s fine.”?

Chupacabra’s cloaca.

There are at least three truly cursed combinations of words out there in the world that most only see a handful of times throughout their lifespan. They are both forbidden and beautiful in their execution.

WuuUuuhhh?! But it has such a cool name now, duuude! 😎

I’m sorry, I don’t understand. But would you like to hear why employees working on its voice assistant are being laid off by Google?

My wife and I strayed through North Dakota once on our way back to Canada. It was during a really intense heat wave several years back, so the trip through was nothing but tall grass and heat ripples stretching on and on toward patches of dense trees. This continued exactly the same way throughout the entirety of the state. There was little to no evidence of civilization anywhere. At one point during our search for gas we came across a tiny town of maybe twenty people who were setting up for quite the party at the general store/town hall/only functional building around. They seemed bewildered to see outsiders but were kind enough to explain that half of the signs pointing toward the nearest gas station no longer led to operational gas stations. This may have saved our lives as we pressed ever onward, now equipped with the knowledge of which signs were real.

Eventually we even collided with a duck (purely by accident) and it ejected its anus (the entire organ, not just the contents) onto the grill of our vehicle where it remained as a small gift for untold miles. Then we were faced with our final dilemma; spending the night in the middle of North Dakota, or finding lodging on a rather unfriendly reservation in Montana, so we decided to just cross the border and take our chances in Saskatchewan. I really couldn’t tell you if that played out any better, but we did make it home eventually.

This is apparent to me every day at work. The public washroom has an indicator beside it that will light up green with the words “OCCUPIED WHEN LIT” any time the door is locked from within. This is a very obvious indicator, though to the average person, green mean go. And every single time I’m using it, you bet your ass some fucking Neanderthal approaches that door, immediately becomes confused over the meaning of occupied, and decides it must be synonymous with vacant. They then grab ahold of the handle and not once, not twice, but often attempt to rip that fucking door down three times before their meat brain tells them “DOOR LOCKED!”. You can literally feel the desperation and confusion in every one of those attempted breaches.

Every. Fucking. Time.

And I don’t shit at work, so I’m not often in there more than a couple of minutes. I think I’m going to start bellowing “GREEEN MEEANN GGOOOOOOOO!” from inside every time this happens.