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7 days agoCaught that within a few seconds of posting, but edits seem to take longer to propagate than the original comment
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Cake day: July 23rd, 2023
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This is a long reply. I’ll do it in spoiler tags for the convenience of people who don’t like that.
It sounds like you already have your answers on what to do, which is the question everybody is trying to answer:
- You believe you are at real risk, so you need to get out.
- You can’t safely access your primary ID documents, so don’t (or if possible before leaving town, go the APS rout suggested by another commenter). Take any secondary ID you have with you and replace primary ID later.
- This is the one you seem least sure about, but you’ve identified your best safe destination, at least to start. Go to your Democratic relatives, and plan next steps from there. I’ll add to this and other “what” questions in a reply
There are two other ways to understand what you’re asking for in this post.
The first is validation to build confidence in your decision.
You have it.
Nobody is in a better position than you are to judge the seriousness of the situation. Trust your gut and get out.
The other way of reading the question is not what to do, but how. Logistics. This is the thing that hasn’t been addressed.
I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight.
This suggests you don’t drive, and that long walks or waiting at a bus stop aren’t good options for you. Since you’ve presumably lived with your disability for some time, I’m going to assume you have local transport options sorted out - please reply with more details (level of urban, distance and size of nearest cities if rural, details on who drives you places if applicable, social connections) if if that’s wrong.
You may or may not not have much long distance travel experience. How have you made longer trips in the past, other than your parents driving?
Driving
- Convincing a liberal friend to drive you to a red state within a week of the election is a tough ask - even if they are willing and have the time, they may not feel safe doing so. If they do, they’re also more likely to downplay the risk from your brother. Most people who can do this are not working: retired, unemployed, or stay-at-home parents.
Unemployed friend should be your first choice here: probably happy to make the trip if you cover gas and lodging. Stay at home parent is less likely to be able to get away because of the need to handle childcare. Retired people you know are probably also connected to your parents, which make them riskier options.
- There are also websites and apps for pairing strangers with and without cars going in the same direction. Usually the person with the car will want gas money from the one without. This is a riskier option for you. It may also take longer and require you to make temporary arrangements to stay somewhere locally, and even then not work out.
First, don’t use Facebook for this - too easy for it to get back to your family. Use your favorite search engine or app store to find a “road trip carpooling” tool. Probably as manybas possible, if you choose this option.
With your disability, you’re more vulnerable to unsympathetic or even politically hostile drivers. When they ask about your trip, don’t tell them why you left. You’re going to visit family you haven’t seen in a while. Talk about things you’ve done with them in the past, and what you’re looking forward to doing with them now. Don’t mention things that convey their (or your) politics.
If you’re paired with a MAGAt or someone who holds otherwise objectionable views, do not push back. Express indifference, or even agreement if that’s what it takes. You’re vulnerable both because of your disability and because they control your transportation - you don’t want to be stranded at the next rest or gas stop.
Air
You will need state ID, drivers license, or passport for this. You can buy a ticket online through a site like Travelocity, Kayak, or Orbitz. That will usually be cheaper than through the airlines. Print your ticket if you feel safe doing so, otherwise you can get it at check-in at the airport.
Show up over an hour early - preferably two, I don’t know how muvh your disability may slow things down. Check-in is probably at a kiosk. Then ask the first uniformed person you see for mobility assistance. With your standing issues, that will probably mean someone to push you in a wheelchair to TSA. Documentation of your disability may help here, but shouldn’t be necessary.
After TSA, they’ll probably send a golf cart to rake you to the gate. Once boarding is called, disability should make you eligible to board at any time. If you need to lie down to keep enough cognitive ability to recognize the right boarding call, do so, and explain to any official that tells you to sit up (but they probably won’t). Ignore any passengers that say anything about it - you don’t have to answer to them.
When you board, make the flight crew aware of the cognitive issues with sitting. Ask them to tell you specifically at each stop if it’s time for you to exit the plane.
When you arrive, ask for mobility assistance again. There will be a taxi stand at the airport if you need that. You may not want to call ahead to your family even then, so you can make your request in person not to contact your brother and parents.
Bus
Greyhound, or Megabus. You will need state ID, drivers license, or passport for this. It will be physically challenging.
Again, you can buy tickets online. I recommend this, as they sell out. If buying and printing the ticket at home is not safe, you can still plan the trip and then buy at the terminal if there is one - but it limits your starting point options to actual terminals (not all Greyhound stops have them). The ride will be long, cramped, and you will almost certainly have to change buses at some point. Bring something to do that won’t run down your phone battery, like a book or knitting.
There will be less assistance than with flying. Lying down at the station is more common, but if they’re full they’re more likely to make you sit up despite your disability. There will be stops where you can buy food. There won’t be a taxi stand at the other end, but there will almost certainly be a local bus stop.
> I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.
Do you have a rolling small suitcase you frequently use for taking things with you when you go places nearby? If so, pack what you can in that. Ignore things that can be easily replaced (personal care items, fashion clothing, etc) and plan to replace them when you get where you’re going. Thrift stores are your friend. Focus on things of emotional, medical, or financial value. If there’s room left, pack underwear since that can’t be gotten used.
If leaving with anything would be unusual, don’t. Getting you out is the most important thing. Everything else is secondary. If you go the APS route for your ID, they can help you retrieve some belongings at the same time. Otherwise, plan to figure it out later.
Both of these are good suggestions, but only after OP gets out.
I would - there’s the risk they don’t take a phone call seriously and let something slip to the parents. Far better to show up on their doorstep to help them understand the gravity of the situation and importance of getting out.
That’s an easy one - change it for them!
4·1 month agoAbsolutely not. At those densities, the write speed isn’t high enough to trust to RAID 5 or 6, particularly on a new system with drives from the same manufacturing batch (which may fail around the same time). You’d be looking at a RAID 10 or even a variant with more than two drives per mirror. Regardless of RAID level, at least a couple should be reserved as hot spares as well.
EDIT: RAID 10 doesn’t necessarily rebuild any faster than RAID 5/6, but the write speed is relevant because it determines the total time to rebuild. That determines the likelihood that another drive in the array fails (more likely during a rebuild due to added drive stress). with RAID 10, it’s less likely the drive will be in the same span. Regardless, it’s always worth restating that RAID is no substitute for your 3-2-1 backups.
The most encouraging thing in the whole talk for me was when he told a roomful of IT folks that they need to join or form Unions and they cheered.
2·2 months agoOh See Paren Left Brace Whatmark
For loads of alternatives, see the Jargon File
Slow down there - you’re making some rather large assumptions about why they have guns. Sure, some people have guns for “self defense” (some for valid reasons, others because racism). Others have them for hunting. Sometimes they’re inherited and have sentimental value.
Edit: Also, kids aren’t the only reason not to keep them loaded. Keeping guns and ammo separately secured introduces enough of a delay to reduce the risk of suicide, for example.
Nah. This has happened with every major corporate antivirus product. Multiple times. And the top IT people advising on purchasing decisions know this.
52·4 months agoWe expect biden to.
No we don’t. Some of us believe there’s a shadow of a prayer he might be pushed into it by Democrat party leaders and his own advisors, but even the politicos calling for his withdrawal have been clear that they expect him to lurch his way to an electoral disaster.
And that assumes no second hand
Exactly.
Having known multiple trans people and heard them talk about the arguments for and against early disclosure: Fear.
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They may not be public about their status, and fear exposure to family or coworkers seeing their public profile.
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They may fear harassment from transphobes. This could range from DM accusations of pedophilia to religious screeds to doxxing to death threats.
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They may be trying to avoid “chasers.” There are some people for whom a trans body (particularly a transfem body) is a fetish, who don’t actually care about the person inside. Plenty of transpeople don’t appreciate that kind of attention.
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Fear of rejection. They may believe that nobody will respond if they’re open about not being cis.
Also two less fear-related (and less common) possibilities:
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Ideology. To some people, specifying “transman” or “transwoman” reinforces a social distinction they find invalidating or don’t accept. How many profiles have you seen that specify themselves as “cisman” or “ciswoman”? For these people, it’s a way of rejecting cisgender normativity.
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Maybe they just aren’t ready to talk about their genitals yet, or have their first conversation be about their surgical plans or history. Not only can get really repetitive having that be the first conversation with every single match, it means they don’t get any of the information they’re looking for about a potential partner until much later in the process and have to invest a lot of their own time up front. Just like you want the salient information you care about early on, so do they.
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Bribes. They’re called bribes.
11·5 months agoAnd not subject to compliance based retention standards
The last time it went to the Supreme Court, they couldn’t make up their minds. The current court would probably support it.
Thank you, I thought I missed one! Again, this will also require some form of ID. It also provides greater leg room and comfort than airplane or bus. The seats also recline more than either of the others, which may be helpful given OP’s cognitive issues with sitting up for extended periods.