3. English, Spanish, French.

I speak English and pidgin Spanish (like, if you really have NO English I can try, and I can read it ok, very slowly.) No French beyond ballet, food, and personal care products as those often come with French labels.

Every month or two I’d say, maybe 8 a year? Not big arena shows, usually one multi day festival and a few concerts at smaller venues, and yeah if there is live music at a bar that is always preferable to TVs or recorded music. Generally don’t buy merch, no. My kids sometimes do.

Warrior had such an awesome intro, we never skipped it.

Your feelings are your feelings, they can’t be wrong. There are certainly different ways to look at it. Usually cheating does indicate something wrong in the relationship - you may feel satisfied, but why is she cheating? Like, is it just some fling and you are the love of her life? Or are you satisfied but she isn’t? Or do you not know her as well as you think? I’d want to know what is going on, even if you aren’t upset by the guy on the side thing.

I don’t think the secrecy bodes well, but no of course your feelings are valid, you don’t need to be upset, no. Do get tested for STI though.

I don’t really like having photos or videos of me made, so probably an outlier here. If I was comfortable recording us having sex, then I think I’d be A-ok with an artificial version too.

I have liked a few of my bosses. One, nobody else liked working for, because he was sort of crazy, came in hours before us, left hours after us, told us he would keep adding work to our schedule and he expected us to tell him when it was too much. Nobody else took him at his word on that, but I did, took my PTO, worked pretty regular hours, and always on my review he’d give me good marks for doing that.

His insane work ethic broke up his marriage, it was not something to emulate. I think deep down he knew that. So part of what he taught me was the value of work life balance, as a negative role model. But I liked that he wasn’t asking us to do more than he did, and he was an absolute genius in a lot of ways, we still hang out sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes.

Our older dog turns off the Roomba when she is bothered by it. The button is all scratched now by her nails, but it is pretty cute. Thwack!

Our biggest dog, may he rest in peace, used to try to play with the Chihuahua from across the street, and it was so funny watching him try to puzzle out how to do that without killing the little dog.

For my life? Productivity I would measure as what gets done in a certain time period. Some days I get a lot done, work and exercise and cook and garden - high productivity days. Other days I do less and rest, unproductive days. That’s balanced.

For an economy? Production/number of employees. That’s the # that keeps increasing here while real earnings/employee decreases.

What is your favorite food?

Are people who live in the countryside doing ok?

Are the laws very restrictive, do you have to always be careful what you say, or can you trust your neighbors, have people to discuss politics with?

I was older than that with my last, not sure if it’s riskier (for her) if it’s her first but doctors must be used to handling it, seems average now.

I don’t do age gaps but when I got together with my husband his kids (and some of mine ) were older but I had a younger set, and he said his mom was like “you really want to start over like that?” But since you have one, you know they grow up so fast, now he says he kinda wishes we’d had one together too. I’ve been the young parents and the old parents, I think the younger set of kids (old parents) got a better deal overall.

Best wishes to you in any case. I think it will be ok. It helps a lot to have more family around, and if some of your siblings are younger there may be cousins too.

I wouldn’t, but done is done, if she is having it what can you do? As someone who had a dad for 16 years, I wouldn’t have traded those years with him for more years with a different dad, we were so close. And he died at around your age, there are no guarantees even if you aren’t old, right?

My brother had a kid when he was about your age and I remember my mom told me, and I said “they are adopting a kid?” And she said no, and I was like, “they have a surrogate ?” And she said no, and I said" but who is pregnant, I don’t understand " And she said Sue, Sue is pregnant (like I was an idiot) and I said “but they’re SO OLD, how?” And that was when I found out she was younger than my brother, I thought they were close in age. Anyway - their kid is fine, she’s grown and happy there was no real issue for them.

If I was your 28 year old son I would have gotten my mad over with already, but jesuchristo how young is your girlfriend, that it’s safe for her to be pregnant? Do you have younger brothers and sisters? Is there going to be a lot of family in case anything happens to you?

Yes. I have been thrown against a wall and very intimately frisked by police for looking at them wrong.

But - that was in LA when cops there were basically just a well armed gang. I’ve never experienced anything that crazy since.

But I am a lady, and women are beautiful, and we are more physically affectionate with each other. I think at least a large minority try? It wasn’t traumatic, just felt nothing like sex. Performance only, no excitement, no nothing. Though I guess it might be like that with a guy I wasn’t into, as well.

I think when you think all sorts of everyday experiences can “turn you gay”, you might possibly be gay? And what do the scanners do to gay people? Turn them straight, or somehow more gay?

Like, I’ve tried all sorts of things in my life, including same-sex sex, and am still straight - like even if I were actively trying to change my sexuality it doesn’t. Sometimes to my despair, as I get older, it would be easier to not have such a strong preference.

Oh Holy Night is amazing.

Fall on your knees! Hear the angel voices!

Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother, and in his name all oppression shall cease!

If your life sucks, that can be exhausting. I agree with orbituary - do yoga and calisthenics.

No, that doesn’t sound normal. If you are dead idle physically, maybe. If so, try increasing your physical activity gradually then exercise.

But if the exhaustion persists, insist on getting screened for diseases, maybe you have something treatable?

I will say my 30s were the WORST and it got better in my 40s and have maintained healthy. Was just thinking the other day about how I feel really good, and weigh 10lb more than I want to but not sure I should try to lose it, maybe healthy just doesn’t look exactly like I want it to!

Appearance makes such a difference. Yes, being pretty makes it easier to get things done, people want to do things for you.

But now, as a middle-aged, averagely good looking white woman, what I notice is people trust me. When I was younger and presumably prettier I got stopped by the police a lot, stopped in customs, there was some friction just because I stood out, yes? Now, I can smoothly just slide through all sorts of security screenings - at concerts they often don’t even look in my bag, and people confide in me all the time. Apparently now I look trustworthy.

All these things we don’t choose, and have no control over, advantage and disadvantage us.

Kimchi grilled cheese is incredible, I would absolutely try sauerkraut grilled cheese.

Well I am hosting the !cocktails@lemmy.world community, we welcome you!

The ones I miss are the local city sub, haircare/curly hair, and the nonsexual nude threads, normal nudes and naked progress, and the draw me nsfw.