My school was in lockdown again this week for a possible active shooter.

I never considered buying a dildo until now…

aka ‘Productivity increase’

Productivity has increased for decades without much of it going to wage increases. Instead, it’s gone to the companies/shareholders

Overruled, and case dismissed.

The company had an obligation to maximise shareholder value.

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries,”

I am not a financial advisor, and this is not financial advice.

Maybe you should check how much of your pension is invested where.

It can shock you how much of your money is invested in just 5 stocks.

Then talk to an advisor

I don’t get why they haven’t gone already.

If they don’t get their IPO off before the bubble pops, they might be losing out on a trillion with a capital T

I had trouble with IVPN. They didn’t have many countries/servers, and ended up being blocked.

Currently on ProtonVPN, and seems to be OK so far.

You named it the “Patriot State Freedom Fest”.

What did you expect?

Quantum computing + AI = ?

"And that’s why today I’m signing into law the Trump Nuclear Act. Some say it’s the greatest law of all time. Very smart people, even smarter AI. Elon tells me this will save billions, and I’m going to increase my dividend, let’s call it the ‘Nucular Peace Dividend’ to honor Bush, I don’t remember which one used to say ‘Nucular’, but I always liked that guy, and it made me think up how to say Chayyyyna.

CNN get out!"

idk, every atom bomb I’ve met has one purpose…

I was thinking about it in terms of a Vikings analogy.

It could be like Ivar the Boneless, or Bjorn Ironside.

But I guess either ways, you end up fucked.

Komrad, I hev meny blekmarket toykens fyor sale.

The umbrellas slow the descent for a soft landing.

Then he has a nice, relaxing cup of tea.

That dude had a mission to be constantly buzzed.

Scotch for breakfast, champagne for lunch, don’t even talk about dinner…

Two I like from history:

A lady called Winston Churchill drunk. Churchill replied: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. I shall be sober in the morning.”

Robert Muldoon, Prime Minister of New Zealand, when asked about the migration of NZers to Australia replied “Well, it raises the IQ of both countries.”

I’m sorry, but sometimes your kink should be shamed.

“This stupid treaty was signed by Lyndon B Johnson. Some say the B stood for ‘Big’. He had a Big Johnson (accordion hands). Not as big as my Johnson. Everyone knows I’m 'uge. Just ask Ivanka. Or Melania. Or Stormy. No don’t ask Stormy, she’s a nasty woman who tells the truth…No! She lies! Nasty, nasty woman!”

It has at least 10 pardons worth of cash and untraceable gems!