Wow, of all the wrong things he that have been said in memes, this is one of them.

I would absolutely save my wife first. Now, do I actually have to save the second person?

Grew up in the Catholic Church in New Jersey, USA and we had these every year.

That is fucking ghoulish.

When I was very young, maybe 7 or 8, my parents took me to Rancocas Nature center in Westhampton, NJ. There was a jar full of tiny, rubber dinosaur figurines in bright neon colors because it was the 80s. I asked my parents if I could get one, but they said no (we had very little money). Well, the ranger manning the shop held up a little orange ankylosaurus and said if I could name it, I could keep it. Well, grade school me was like, “Game on, motherfucker! It’s my time to shine!” I wound up winning 4 of them before the ranger said he might get in trouble if we kept on going. I don’t remember what the other three were, but that neon orange ankylosaurus was my favorite toy for a very long time!

I hope that ranger is having a great life!

Pineapple

Oh, that’s a good one!

We are actually watching Brooklyn 99 right now!

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Relationship mechanics. If I give someone a pumpkin twice a week, they’re just going to be confused and pissed.

Oh, come the fuck on…

When you can hear each others same jokes for the umpteenth time and still laugh.

I can’t be the only person who first read “Fuckwhale”

Here at the GOP, we just want to control you and fuck your children.

He says they are also stupider, uglier, and have worse cars!

Tidus

The songs are catchy and the one about her husbands dick was hilarious.

Nice try, pickpocket!

I think it’s a good album.

Pet my cat Woodworking Reading Watching After Hours or OPCD Hanging out with my wife (100% effective)