There’s also a trough of coffee! Mmmm troughee.

Buy high. Sell high. Basically be high all the time, especially when doing stock markets.

A bag of cool ranch Doritos.

Came here to say this. Major editorializing by the OP, unless there’s another source they chose not to share.

Haha, your poor teacher is the real victim here.

The initials scratching play was gutsy considering how utterly unnecessary it was.

Circa 1991 I stole my classmate’s pen and he noticed and confronted me immediately. A few kids were circled around, watching it go down. I tried to lie and say it was mine and he said “Oh yeah, what special feature does it have, then?” And I, scrambling, said “It has… purple ink!” That was true, but he was the pen’s true owner and not buying that shit. He snatched it out of my hand and did… something with it that I didn’t quite understand. He slammed the butt end of it down into the palm of his hand and it clicked or something. I dunno. Either way, case closed.

If your name is Corey and you went to Pond Springs Elementary and had Mrs. Olsen as a 5th grade teacher, I’m sorry I tried to steal your pen.

Post it here

My friend’s uncle lived this life but swap globe to “Lake Travis in Austin, TX” and swap friend or family member to “random babe”

One time, she (my friend), invited us out for a full day on her uncle’s boat and whenever we stopped to gas up, one babe would depart and another would hop on. He also had some kinda magical ice chest that never ran out of beer. Good times.

Computer programmer

Insertion: stick it on the end O(1)

Retrieval: BOGO sort your list and return the first item. It’s O(1) in the best case.

Checkmate, nerds!

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/man-convicted-of-manslaughter-in-death-of-ut-freshman-in-2001-denied-parole-for-third-time

Prison.

A guy named Brandon Threet. A kid, really. A freshman in college. He kicked my friend Terrence in the head and killed him at a house party. He bullied Terrence, shoved him, and when his guard was down, punched him so hard he fell to the ground. Then he took three steps to wind up and kicked the side of his head with steel toed boots. Then they put him on a couch and ignored him til they noticed he was turning blue. Four days later he died in the hospital.

Brandon spent 20 years in jail and got out in 2022. Not sure what he deserved and not sure if he got it. All I know is Terrence was a prince among fools.

…and I can’t get up!

STRONGER THAN YOURS INNIT MATE??

I can??

Ugh, same exact boat here. Thankfully my partner jumps on the grenade and browses the local FB content and then relays the important/interesting info to me, though :)

I’ve implemented two features at work using their api. Aside from some trial-and-error prompt “engineering” and extra safeguards around checking the output, it’s been similar to any other api. It’s good at solving the types of problems we use it for (categorization and converting plain text into a screen reader compliant (WCAG 2.1) document). Our ambitions were greater initially, but after many failures we’ve settled on these use cases and the C-Suite couldn’t be happier about the way it’s working.

USA!

Yeah, like livestock! Or a small child! What a time to be alive!

Maybe not the most manipulative, but it’s the first thing to come to mind…

When I was 21 years old, I was dating a delightful lush who was 19 and it was a bummer that we couldn’t go out drinking together. So, I found a marriage certificate online, put our names on it and printed it out, then copied it. We also went to a department store and spent $20 on a convincing cubic zirconia ring. We pretended to be married because my state’s antiquated laws consider wives to be property of husbands in this regard, so voilà! We could now go out drinking together! And boy did we, haha.