There are a number of individuals who have motive to take me out. I must be prepared.

Guns keep me safe from crazy people looking to waste my ass. Stand Your Ground.

The fact that sunlight is illegally immigrating from the Sun, so the Republicans want to deport it all.

A truly memorable story! I remember the tale of Jesus jumping down from the cross, jumpstarting his campaign to overthrow the Roman Empire. The greatest lesson to learn from Jesus is that mercy is a weakness.

(This is based off the “The Inquisitor” universe where Christianity is openly based off of cruelty against one’s enemies)