Try tap.

Did it instantly turn on? No?

Try hold.

Now you turned it off, maybe.

Is the pear tree included? Do I get one pear tree? 12 pear trees? No pear tree? This might be a dealbreaker, so take your time answering.

Quick, someone quietly transfer OP to a different parish

We’re buying each other a new bed, I hope. The gift that keeps on giving. (The shit we have now is horrible.) You could go for something that enhances your home life together.

I used to go into Bed Bad and Beyond when I couldn’t think of anything, and walk out with a bag full of small things she wouldn’t normally go looking for herself. Neck warmers, fuzzy socks, bath bombs, candles, that sort of thing. If your trip is the big gift, you could do a basket (or stocking) of smaller cozy stuff.

Sorry, but the answer we were looking for is “I’ll need to work on this over the weekend.” That’ll be all for today. We’ll call you.

Toyota, Mazda and Honda are the only makes I’ve really ever considered, or ever plan to consider. Of those 3, Honda has not gone that route yet as far as I know. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I was considering a Mazda for my next car. Now I’m not.

I live in a place that gets fucking cold in the winter. If the normal fob option were always available and you get the option to pay for the convenience using an app, that would be one thing - though $10/month for that is ridiculous. But removing the fob option and locking this basic feature behind a subscription is exactly the sort of game I don’t want my vehicle to play with me.

Go ahead and sell roadside coverage, parts/repairs, batteries, get royalties from Sirius or whatever for extra cash flow. Make a great app that adds new convenient live-service features and is worth paying for, even. But fuck all these new subscription un-gimping games.

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Howard the coward ^👐

Someone’s got a bad case of the Tuesdays.

Always hire a monopoly lawyer.

It’s all leading to one final product: VR sex robots

We’re concerned that your home doesn’t look soul crushing enough. Please upgrade your home office by installing fluorescent tube lights and covering your walls with rough faded blue grey cloth, or we’ll need you to come into the office.

So the robots are now more successful at proving they’re human than I am.

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Adobe rn:

I will find text versions of everything I need to learn about and create my own video, and then watch it.

“We see you had it toggled on for 16 seconds when you first opened the app, so that still counts. Also we can legally kill you if we want.”

And in Apple’s case they’re just being forced to pay back taxes, not even any fines. They’re basically undoing an illegal tax break from Ireland, which has spent $10 million in legal fees to fight against receiving it. Technically the Irish government is the one that fucked up here. Apple will have to pay and move forward paying a normal tax rate.

“Free calls. Free internet. For everyone. Forever.”