I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, so sorry if it’s unhelpful, but why not just shave it off? I think the majority of men look good with a shaved head. I don’t mean like bic or razer shaved just a No.1 or even no guard on a set of clippers. I did this for a while when working as an asbestos surveyor (having to get into all sorts of gross places) and really liked it. It’s fantastic for low maintenance.

The Cassette Beasts soundtrack is excellent and they’ve recently released some acoustic/live sessions. “Wherever we are now” would suit your theme perfectly.