Hello, folks. Hoping I can get some opinions on my situation.
My 12-yo watches a lot of YouTube. It is mostly streaming personalities who have a lot to say on a variety of topics. I have either watched these videos with them, overheard them from another room, or looked some up from their history and viewed them myself.
I have problems with them and want to do something about it.
I care little about the topics being discussed; my child is allowed to be interested in their own things, even those separate from ours (their parents), and it’s also reasonable for them to disagree with us. All of that is fine.
My problem is with how these streamers present their content:
- They do not provide critical scrutinization of the issues.
- They do not apply logical rationalization or reason to the stances they take.
- They do not cite sources of repute to justify their positions.
- They are needlessly hyperbolic.
- They examine no dissenting opinions.
- They present themselves as authorities on every topic with zero credentials to support that assertion.
- They succumb to, support, and repeat what is obviously propaganda.
To say nothing of the fact that the value the entertainment potential and viewership counts more than the content of their arguments.
I was raised allowed to moderate my own content because I was trusted to be intelligent and wise enough to critically select what I watched or read and learn from the mistakes I made if I consumed something negatively influential. I have tried to extend this same trust to my 12-yo, but their constant repetition of what they hear and their inability to form a cogent argument makes me feel like their YouTube viewing habits are teaching them to accept concepts at face-value simply because they are popular.
I don’t feel it would be productive to start out-right blocking content and pundits because this would feel more hegemonic than educational. I’d rather increase the likelihood that they’d critique and dismiss the content than decrease the likelihood that they’d view it.
I would love to hear what others have to say about this situation.
How you interact with them is the key to 90% of what your child learns from you. You’re already participating in their viewing. Use this as a stepping stone for dialogue regarding plausibility, and demonstrating critical thinking.
“Do you agree with that influencer? Why or why not?”
“What are the influencers motivations?” Dazzle them with possibilities they had not considered too.
“If I told you I’ve been to space would you believe me? But I’m your parent! Why is my claim beyond belief?”
“Can you verify what that person is telling you through reliable means? This is how I would do that”.
… and so on. Just do more of what you’re doing and up the investigation portion IMO. Don’t be afraid to learn something yourself while they witness it. Just be careful to avoid arguments as they’re getting to that age…
I agree. The issue, however, is that they simply do not engage with any conversation. All I get is shrugs and “I don’t know” to literally anything I say. My latest idea is a litmus test I will reward them for taking which gives me an idea of their cognitive and critical thinking .
Keeping the tone casual and at their level should work better. If it sounds like an exam question or job interview, kids would find it difficult to engage. It’s a learning process for adults, too.
Thinking about our own childhood and how we would react to the critical thinking questions should help. Instead of a pop quiz sounding questions, we would prefer the adults talking to us to be genuine and not trying to lecture us, or test us.
You wouldn’t talk to your friend in a way “what’s the streamer’s motivations?” but you’d make a conversation out of it. “I was there with them right until they said this…” And you’d state your reasoning. Think of it talking to your friend, but keep it 12 yo. level.
They are also 12–almost a teenager. They are moving into a phase where your opinion matters less and their friend start mattering more.
What you are seeing as a slow indoctrination by YouTube may be more of a social game to keep up with the same media their friends consume. Each regurgitated opinion probably lands a lot better in a group of their peers.
This is the future we’ve been growing into. Kids are just living in it.
I watch a few streamers too, and I highly recommend that you follow the ones your kids enjoy until the consequences start setting in. IRS trouble, broken marriages, terminated business deals…stream bros don’t usually live happy lives. Let your kid see the beginning in full, and then make sure they stay tuned for the end.
Boogie used to be the Mr. Rogers of YouTube. Now he’s a cancer faking lolcow who tattooed “liar” on his face, then was caught lying about that too. That is a story arc a kid can learn from. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing, and now we have the benefit of watching them get exposed live.
My son’s only 8 so I have no personal experience parenting a tween/teen. So take that into consideration with my advice.
How about the next time you’re watching with them, try this:
"I was raised allowed to moderate my own content because I was trusted to be intelligent and wise enough to critically select what I watched or read and learn from the mistakes I made if I consumed something negatively influential. I have tried to extend this same trust to you, but the constant repetition of what you hear and your inability to form a cogent argument makes me feel like your YouTube viewing habits are teaching you to accept concepts at face-value simply because they are popular.
If you will engage with me in a discussion on these videos, I’ll leave you alone and continue to trust you on this. However, if you continue to shrug and dismiss the conversation, I will have to consider blocking this content until you are ready to engage with me on a deeper level."
I know modern parenting advice tells us to prefer reward over punishment so if there’s a reward strong enough to motivate them to engage, go with that. But if punishment is a greater motivator, I’d say damn the modern parenting advice.
Well I wouldn’t accept “I dunno” as an answer any more. “you are old enough now that it’s time for you to know because if you don’t people will take advantage of you”.
Every time they say ‘I dunno’ demand a single page report on the answer complete with at least 2 sources. No TV/Phone/Whatever until it is done. They’ll stop uttering that real quick. The key is co-participation though. Telling them something is important is meaningless when compared to showing them it is important by sitting down and helping them figureidout.