Spykee

Are you me?
You ARE me!
FUCK YEAH!
Weirdos like me do live past 50.

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Not all heroes wear capes.
Some have wings & stingers.
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No clue who the dude was, I just hate on billionaires in general.

“You cannot have a cake and eat it too?”
Bruv, if I have a cake in my hands, I am going to eat it.
It’s like me giving a back massage to my girlfriend. Things are going to get groped.
Yes, I have a girlfriend. I will not be taking any questions.

I love your boobs too, bro!

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I said what I said.

Size doesn’t matter.
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All boobs are beautiful.

I support this narrative.
Not because it is logical, BUT BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING RIGHT!
GET IT, CHARLOTTE?
I DON’T HAVE EYES ON MY CAR’S TAIL-LIGHT TO SEE YOU WERE COMING TOWARDS ME.

How you doin?

Porncrastination.
Yes, it IS word. I’ve been doing this activity for years. Do not doubt my experience in the field.

I’m a dude. I DON’T have a vibrator.
No, I do NOT.
The fuck you talking about?
The one in my bedroom? That one belongs to my flatmate.
He hides it in my room.
I don’t care if you don’t believe me.
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FUCK YOU!

…and I thought I’m the only man with dreams.

Good heavens, a motorised zipper on my trousers that will get my amazing humongous dong out in the open when my hands are busy fondling the hordes of skimpily dressed women with questionable character.
I will buy this.

Brah, I don’t even close the toilet door when I poop if there’s nobody in the house.
Yes, I am disgusting. Thank you for noticing.

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All of you who have commented until now - LIARS!

I know all of you dimwits are looking at naked people on your phone. That’s your fun thing & then you produce “things” out of your body that you wipe off.

Not saying I don’t do it, but you do it too.

War-Chest-Hair Sauce … Werk-hamster-shire Sauce … Wash-your-sister Sauce … What’s-this-here Sauce … Wister-Sheer Sauce … … …

Yeah. Fucking nailed it!

This fucking idiot!

Condition 1 - it has to be a girl Condition 2 - she should be alive