If they can even survive past asking why their pizza doesn’t have any cheese on it.

Which country will one of these people end up getting murdered? My money’s on France. Someone is going to douse their steak au poivre in bacon flavored ranch, and the reaction won’t be pretty.

Well yeah, if it’s 4,000 years old, odds are pretty solid it isn’t human.

Hopefully that feeling is his left arm going tingly and numb because he’s about to have a massive heart attack that’ll finally finish the fucking job.

Well…I laughed. I’ll just see myself to hell now.

It’s amazing how many of these pricks just completely blow up the old argument of never judging a book by its cover. Just look at this asshole. He might as well write on his jawline “aim your fist here.”

Grandma gets to hear “six sevvven” for all of eternity.

WHOLE MILK. IN THE HOT TUB. WHICH IS FULL OF MEN. OLD MEN. MAHA.

There it is. The h-bomb of all Epstein files distractions. Sexy Puerto Ricans, dancing joyfully to reggaeton.

The first four years or so that I was on Reddit, I never once received a ban for anything. Since Trump was elected, I pretty much got temp bans every couple of months. Every one was from me being mean to obvious Russian trolls. And then this morning, I got permanently banned for a comment I made over a week ago, that according to Reddits own metrics, received a grand total of zero views. I called a fascist a, um, fascist, and that he wasn’t just licking boots, he was deep throating them. That was a step too far, according to Reddit. And now I’m here.