Honestly I wish they were right. I’d give anything to see those fuckers squirm in front of st peter

Wanted something that showed who I really am

Well it was a regular work day for me, so I bought lunch

At least a couple bandaids

I want everyone to know how magnificent I am

I have the best sense of humor ever. Everything is funny to me. I am completely incapable of taking anything seriously.

I am not a clever man

Tbf I’ll pet any soft surface, regardless if it’s attached to an animal

Would put me in a deep deep depression. Just shoot me and get it over with

I wasn’t aware zip ties were that hard to find for some people

Children have maybe a few doctor appts per year, maybe an er visit every so often. Chronic illnesses are extremely rare. Adults on the other hand have many more specialist appointments, hospital stays, chronic issues requiring follow up appointments. Adults cost way more to insure and that’s why the costs are so different.

Comparatively, kids are quite cheap to insure.

Children don’t have nearly as much medical expenses as adults

Yes. Everyone else here is perfectly normal

I hate getting splashed with a poodle. Takes forever to get the blood and fur out of my hair

Show up naked and shit on the receptionist

There are several Lemmy apps. Which one?

Pay off my credit card and then that guy’s mortgage

I have not, mostly because I’ve never heard of it

A chainsaw. Not really sure what you’d use it for, but it would certainly be interesting

That being said, I will sometimes buy some cheap steak and slather it in A1 because I fuckin love A1